December 29th, 2017

Fear & the need to control will rule if you let it.  Nothing changes without change.  These are easy enough to understand, but to make the changes - now that's the kicker.  I went back through all my blog posts and re-read them yesterday.  I remembered exactly what I was going through for each one...and as I write this one another struggle is upon me.  "I am tired of being the strong one and handling things" - I told my partner, "wtf?" I said.  Well what's the lesson?  Why another one- how many more will come my way?  Then the fear of what the lesson is if I don't learn it...do they keep getting worse to show me I should've appreciated the smaller struggles?  Maybe...so what's the change I need to make?  I am trying to figure that out.  I liked it better when I was emotionally monotone sometimes, even though I know that stunted my growth.  Persevere, trust the process, don't give up.  I won't-never...and I know I am not alone in any of my struggles, because I am not the first and certainly not the last.